Really.
I think I'm going crazy.
After a bunch of research, I believe I have OCD and a mild form of shizophrenia.
Seriously.
I'm seeing things, and I get freaked out about random stuff in my head.
Lots of times I can't differentiate between something that occurred in my imagination, and something that really did happen.
Not only that, I'm have psychotic mood swings and open/shut emotional periods.
It's bonkers in my head.
A little frightening, to tell the truth.
I think it might be the lack of social familiarity.
The maximum amount of classes I have with one person is three.
Actually, there's only one person I have that many classes with.
Depressing, isn't it?
I know.
People are so cliquey.
I have to actually think through things very thoroughly before acting.
I can't live like this!
I'm going to go completely and utterly mad by the end of the semester!
Ahh!
...
Perhaps some social outings with you people will do me some good.
Actually, I've got to say that the worst bit is actually cross country practice, because I'm stuck with a group of freshman girls who are alternating levels of cliquey-bitch.
Yeah.
Story of my life.
Anyways, I'm sick of trying to not piss them off because they're one of my very few connections to the other freshmen.
And I tried to be nice to one of them at the beginning of the year, but now she's snobbish and frustratingly annoying.
Ah, the beauty of the mind.
Anyways, I finally managed to understand that they are, at the most, tools.
I'll be pleasant when I need to, but there's no need for me to seek them out.
The only reason I used to do that was that they were the only people I knew.
I don't know what game they're playing, and whether or not they're ignoring me or not.
There's one who actually knows what she's doing and exactly how to get what she wants--she grates on my nerves the most, every since the beginning.
I tell myself that they mean well, if not to keep myself from actually saying what I think of them to their faces.
That probably wouldn't be too good for my life.
There are only three I have a constant positive vibe from, and one who seems on/off about the whole vibe thing.
But seriously, they're all psychopathic about the whole status thing.
I give up.
But I've made new, more consistent friends now, and I have what it takes to...I dunno. Stay sane, I suppose.
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6 comments:
Haha I know what you mean.
with the don't know what is dream and what is real.
and the mood swings its really weird.
how do u live with it?
Lol! I'm not alone!
XDD
I was feeling very pissed at certain -cough- people when I wrote that.
Now I'm all cool, 'cause I didn't see them today.
(Hahah.)
I don't, Amanda!
That's why I'm insane XDD
=DDDDD
btw Terry thank you for your rant on the Kids' blog. It made me feel very righteously angered =DDD
LETITOUT
LETITOUT
XPPP
*twitch*
OCD.........o.o
x.x
People at Newport are super-cliquey too. Is like... wow. Can't even spare a smile?
*sob*
Well, I suppose we'd have to get thrown into the real world sometime anyway. So better sooner than later?
We must realize that not everyone is as awesome as the superPRISM gang?
And also that most people our are extremely shallow, strange, stttuuuuupiddd and weird?
I was gonna say immature but then it struck me that it might be hypocritical, 'specially talking about mothbawls and Charlemagne. :D
=/ well, I guess you canna alienate them...but seriously? Social ladder? Whattttt. -.-
Status.
-.-
it's like MEDIEVAL EUROPE
WITH FEUDALISM AND MANORIALISM
So there's the king [in this case probly like the mostest popularest person in the grade]
And then under him there are a bunch of high status rich people
and then under them they have vassals who are bound by loyalty
And vassals have vassals, and those vassals might have servants
...
and then at the bottom we have the peasant serfs.
who silently and twitchily watch the aristocrats and are like, uh.
*twitch*
*glare*
AP World is going to my head.
Good luck x.x
It sounds extremely hard >_<
Wow, lmao, the last part of the post sounded like something straight out of an Poe story. I never knew you were so dark...or possibly mentally insane o.o
Just don't go around chopping off people's limbs, neh? =]
You know what i'm frustrated about? All of my classes are with sophmores and juniors. It's all cool and its fun being with them...but half (maybe more) of them won't associate with me outside of class. I don't know whether it's because i'm a freshman or i'm not close enough with them. But how do i get closer to them when i have one, maybe two, classes with them a day and i'm not in their social group? -.-
And i don't feel comfortable a lot of the time at Newport. The junior that sits next to me in math talks ALL THE TIME about random stuff and won't be quiet when the teacher's talking. And one time randomly in math he grabs my shirt, gets in my face, and is like "what did you say about my mom? I don't appreciate you saying that about my mom. If you say stuff like that about my mom i'll beat up your sorry ass"...i think he'll slightly crazy. A guy in my bowling group in PE cheated on his score. He bowled two gutterballs. So i wrote down two zeros, but he was just like, "no, that's wrong, i got nine" and inside i was like,really? you're really gonna cheat on a bowling score? Get a life. But i went along with it and he turned out to get extra credit for highest score. -.-
Yeah...sorry for ranting ^^
I just had to vent =O
I know what you mean tho (at least i think i do o.o)
i just don't feel comfortable around the people at Newport.
Not like Odle
I think I used "seriously" a few too many times. I've got to stop doing that.
Seriously.
XDD
...
Right.
I found a mood-picker-upper!
Okay.
So I have TWO classes that make me happy.
That would be PHYSICS (I like the class, okay?) and ENGLISH.
Yay!
I kinda like math too, now, 'cause instead of paying attention (how weird, right? Who ever thought of paying attention?), I toss a stack of sticky notes accross the room (with stuff written, of course) to another person when Mr. Jahncke isn't looking. XDDD
...
Right.
I totally belong in the loony bin.
NO. It is not feudalism!
Because I will come along, with my atomic bombs and bio-weapons, and kill them all.
Bwahahahah.
XD
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